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So very much like PMS

I am in one hell of a mood right now. Allow me to illustrate.

Dear Wendy’s ghetto manager whore:

When a pregnant girl rolls up in her car with her admittedly slightly psycho dog in the passenger seat, you hand her the God damn shakes, ok? You don’t make her unfasten her seatbelt, lean way forward thereby folding her son in half due to the fact that her dog, heaven for-fucking-bid, stuck his snoot out the window and stared adoringly at the shakes. I literally had to move my car FORWARD in order to get the shakes. While you stood there and refused to move and kept the shakes out of my reach.

I know in the ghetto you only have dogs with spike chains around their necks who have been “trained” with kicks to the body and starvation type methods, but here? Yeah, we love our dogs and might even share a fry with them. That behavior? Makes them happy. So deliriously happy that had said psycho dog made contact with you? He’d have probably only hurt you in his attempts at licking your face from ear to ear. So next time instead of staring at me like a dumbass while I claim over and over “He won’t do anything” and “He is more interested in the shakes than you, trust me” just hand me my fucking food and go back to buffing your gold tooth.

Do we have an understanding?

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Bitch.

11 Responses

  1. We hate the Wendy’s bitch.

  2. “buffing your gold tooth” – that right there…..that is just one of the many reasons I pink puffy heart you!!!

  3. What Cheeky & Bella said…… oh the joys of ghetto life. Welcome to my world also.

  4. what a biatch…seriously..wtf

  5. Wait- did you fold your son in half?? I am I the first one to guess that you a might be having a male offspring??? Or is this another of my evenings if being over severd??

    ps: Wendy’s BITCH is OUT

  6. yet another glaring example of why a college education is a good thing…

  7. Good grief. People are stupid. I love frys and frostys. What a perfect combo.

  8. Sugarplum, I love you. I hope I’m as hilarious when I’m With Child :)

  9. Man I wish I could fire off a tongue lashing like that. I do hate me some ghetto fast food employees.

  10. I found your blog by way of someone else’s. I am currently drying my eyes from laughing uncontrollably at the SPEW of hilariousness I read here.

    I, too, have a dog (2 big chocolate labs, in fact) that wants nothing more than to hang out the window and “talk” to everyone they see- the fast food employees are the worst. SERIOUSLY. With those faces, drool flying everywhere, tails beating me senseless in the head… do you really think they’re going to hop their 90 pound bodies through the windows and bite you?

    Thanks for saying the words I never could!

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